West Wing
Dark Shadows Song Parodies By Freesoul
January 16, 2004
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WEST WING STORY When you're a snake you're a snake all the way From your first breathy noise 'til your last dying day. When you're a snake You've got suck-ups around Little boy you're a man, Little man you're a prick. When you're a snake There's no way to resign Though you've fallen in love With blonde-haired Carolyn You'll take over the world 'cause Nicholas will make ya Your coils are all curled Since Barney waked ya. You'll woo a pretty girl After murdering her papa Make Barney a vamp For tryin' to stop ya! When you're a snake You'll break all of the rules Like an arrogant fool And act nasty and cruel When you're a snake There's no way to be nice 'cause when Bruno revolts He will load all the dice. When you're a snake And at last you reform You'll get tossed off a cliff In a Collinwood storm Then when you're dead Your main squeeze has bad dreams And she wakes up each time With a Dark Shadows screeeeeeeeam! |
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MORE WEST WING STORY My mom drank too much sherry My dad was cold and mean My fiancee dug my uncle Her servant went for me I learned that she used witchcraft Then she got really peeved Golly, Jeepers, that's why I'm a vamp He's a vamp he's a vamp His hand's cold and damp And he'll bite your neck 'cause he's a vamp. That's a touchin' good story. Let me tell it to the world! No, tell it to the doc Please kindly doctor Hoffman You gotta understand It's this curse from which I suffer That gets me out of hand I really am a good guy Why don't you ask my fans? Golly Moses that's why I'm so tough Oh, cryptkeeper willy, you've gotten me miffed This guy don't need a doc he needs a mad scientist Oh, doctor can't you make me A body that's not cursed And rip off Mary Shelly Who thought the scheme up first The ...medicine you gave me Won't keep away the thirst Holy Moly that's why I suck blood He sucks blood he sucks blood He sucks lots of blood Like at night he gets up and sucks blood I went into the 90s to rescue all the kids From their dead uncle Quentin A good thing that I did But when at last I got back These weirdos with their hoods Said to revive the snakes They're mad at me. That's why I'm undead He's undead. He's undead he's undead once more So the rest of us can keep our jobs So listen Willy Loomis You say you got a bride And say you must get married And so can't help our side I'm sorry that I beat you Put you in that padded room Sucked your blood, but even so we're friends (willy solo) I'm his friend. I'm his friend To the bitter end Don't ask me why but I'm his friend |
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YET MORE WEST WING STORY I'm real pretty Oh, so pretty I'm real pretty and wealthy but dumb So I'll marry any half-way presentable bum. See the pretty girl in the mirror there? Who could that rich Collins girl want? A top harvard grad? With a real rich dad? No! I'm real pretty Oh, so pretty I am pretty and wealthy but dumb So I'm nuts for any hard case that makes me say "yum". My analyst says it's self-esteem That makes me chase boys from bad dreams Has he got a job? I am not a snob! Is he sweet and kind? No! But I don't mind! Love and I are blind! `cause I'm pretty Oh, so pretty I'm real pretty and wealthy but dumb So I follow a perverse rule of romantic thumb See the unkempt drifter I'm married to? What in him could I ever see? He gave me bad dreams I woke up and screamed Mom got really steamed So we married And a shadow is now after him. |
| By Freesoul |